Miley Cyrus Dating Dane Cook? Is This The Apocalypse?

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For those of us who can’t get enough Miley Cyrus news, here’s a tantalizing tidbit. A source tells Us Weekly that the “Hands of Love” singer and standup comic Dane Cook are “hooking up”.

True or not, the story says the pair’s ongoing social media interaction – and a pivotal moment two years ago when they danced together (!) – signify that something far more is going on than just a brief stop at Starbucks.

As we pause to consider the ramifications of all this, it’s worth taking a few minutes to recount some recent history.Miley 02

Cook, who is 43 has been an eligible bachelor for a while now and certainly has a funny side to him that most women admire. In March, the Cyrus ended a five-month love affair with Patrick Schwarzenegger, oldest son of Arnold and Maria Shriver. Apparently, she called it quits when he was photographed doing body shots off the body of a bikini-clad girl on spring break. She was then linked in the press to Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell but denied that the two had a serious relationship. Prior to all that, Miley had been engaged to Liam Hemsworth.

Cyrus has been quite open about her fluid sexuality, explaining to Time earlier this year that different people bring out different things in her and she’s not limited by gender stereotypes when it comes to romance. “I don’t associate men and protection necessarily,” she went on to say. “I think that’s what’s given me the openness of sexuality.”

Meanwhile, Cook has denied that anything’s going on between them, telling E! News, “I’m always the last to know these things. Just let Miley know that I’ll pick her up for dinner at eight.”

The comic has claimed in the past to have slept with “a few hundred” groupies but is now supposedly ready to focus his attention upon Miley, who has said she likes “funny” men. (Whether or not Dane Cook meets that requirement has been the subject of much debate. Google “Dane Cook not funny”.)

Whether or not the rumor is true, one can’t help but be moved by the message he sent to her last March: “Don’t you ever let someone treat you like a yellow Starburst. You are a pink Starburst.”

Fluid, provocative, exhibitionist singer, age 22, “hooks up” with randy, vilified, accused stealer-of-jokes comedian, 43.

What could possibly go wrong?

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